Wednesday, November 8, 2006

The feeling of being lost

It's a time for change. I need to revive what was decomposing. I need a change in passion, or else I would be too alienated from what I should be interested about as a teenager. I explicitly know that I belong to a marginalized cultural group; I realize that I’m an odd-ball.

After all, no one has similar fanaticism as me. What I cherish, are, sadly, passions with no future, and enthusiasm which time does not allow to cultivate.

Tell me, who ever grows up to be a computer animator, using PowerPoint to churn out cartoons to make money?

Tell me, how can I ever work for Apple when it is based in California? How is it ever possible that I abandon my roots to leave for overseas?

Tell me, would a person of such high caliber take up a career as a car salesman?

Tell me, how many people would truthfully engage in a conversation on which operating system is the best for your computer?

As such, I shall find new passions, perhaps one that’s steered towards academics, one which has the propensity to develop and grow into a stable future career, not something which society has no regard for.

The sciences, maybe. Or how about the arts.

Ultimately, I still recognize that passions cannot be forced. They have to be natural. But after a long while of wandering, I must start to choose a direction, and seriously work on it.

Maybe I don’t belong to where I am now, maybe I belong to NAFA.

Well, but above all, I feel secured in the knowledge that it is all in His hands.

No comments: