Don't fight the rope

Image copyright Ian Ho 2011

What a bobbing experience I had this morning! Tried wakeboarding for the very first time!

It's quite a bit of fun, but I'm experiencing the consequences now:( My head still feels like it's bobbing up and down, and there's a little bit of water stubbornly stuck in my ears. Not to mention being totally burnt.

I thought it seemed simple enough. At least it looked simple enough. You slip your legs into the wakeboard, grab the handle, crouch down low, then wait for the motorboat to slowly pull you up. Once you're up, you just.. simply ride the wave!

But boyohboy was I wrong. On my first few attempts, I struggled to stand up. I could never hold onto the handle more than a few seconds after the boat moved. At the instance I tried to stand, I would fall back and then drown in an overwhelming torrent of seawater. The boat would then turn back to pick me up, the instructor would correct me, and this frustrating cycle continued for a while and I was like OHH SO IT ISN'T THAT EASY AFTER ALL.

What was my problem? Well, a few things. I remember the instructor telling me, "hang on to the rope, don't hold on. Hang on!!" The first attempt I didn't grip the handle properly. I needed to really hang on, grip onto it firmly and not just hold it. Second problem: I was trying too hard to fight the rope, i.e. I was exerting strength against the boat trying to pull myself up. The trick was to straighten your hands and then let the boat move and naturally pull yourself up, not the other way around. The instructor sarcastically told me, "this boat has 200 horse power, you don't even have 1 horse power and you're trying to pull on the boat?!" HAHA. Besides that, I also had problems with my getting-up posture. I found it a little amusing how I was treated like a small kid learning how to STAND-UP -.-

The first round I didn't succeed in standing on the board, not at all. But thankfully, upon the second round, I managed to effortlessly get myself up! At that instant I felt a sudden sense of accomplishment and freedom, to feel the wind against my chest and the churning waves beneath. But I only managed to remain surfing for a short while before falling off again. :( Thankfully, long enough for my friends to snap a shot!

I did what they said - not to fight the rope, to hang on tight, not to think too much about balancing and just getting up naturally. AND I DID IT. I WAKEBOARDED FOR MY VERY FIRST TIME! =D

But I took back more than a skill today. Yknow what? I took back a precious lesson.

I saw that riding the ocean waves and riding the waves of life aren't any different. God is my 200 horse power boat that's always steadily pulling me along. And I'm always the small guy behind clinging on desperately to the handle that's called life. God pulls me along in life. And in order to stand up and ride the waves that come my way, I gotta HANG ON TIGHT AND NOT FIGHT THE ROPE.

I gotta let the boat pull me, not struggle with the boat. God has to pull me, because alone I'm powerless and weak. He's doing all the work - steering the boat, powering the boat, and all I need to do is hang on.

Simple enough a reminder for all of us.

Hang on tight and don't fight the rope. That way you'll survive and not fall.

You should try wakeboarding too:)

Saying I love u

These past few weeks have been really hard for me.. many things happened, I wasn't doing well emotionally, and there was just so much of questioning God and disappointment with Him over so many things.

I finally decided to take tonight and spend time soaking in His presence and seeking after Him. Frankly speaking it's been ages since I set aside time to reconnect with my big 'CO' up there. And as I was singing songs and praising Him and all, I just broke down in tears when I felt His presence surround me.. and it was that kind of a sweet feeling which I haven't felt in a very long while. I miss God's presence, his warm embrace soooo much. That feeling of security, of assurance, and of His everlasting love for me... really only my God can make me feel this way.

Strange thing, as I was half tearing and half singing, the Lord just gave me a song. With my guitar missing one string, I just started to strum a few chords and then amazingly the words just came out spontaneously and I started singing it. And I know this is a song from my Daddy.

I am safe in Your arms
I am forgiven and accepted here
I am safe in Your embrace
You never let me go
No never let me go

I want to worship You
I'm coming back to You Lord
I've run a million miles
Went a million places
But I'm home now

Chorus:
Jesus
I love You, I love You, I love You
You are good
You are strong
You are awesome almighty Father
The same today, tomorrow and forever.

You're the comforter of the storm
And forever I can sing
I love You Lord
I love You Lord

I might record it down some time soon (and figure a title), but I hope this song that God gave me will find you well wherever you are in your life, whatever issues you may be grappling.

Situations might not change, but guess what? Our God will never change too!! And this is my greatest source of comfort. That God will ALWAYS remain God. And because of that we have EVERY reason to still praise and say "I love You". :)

Our God is above every situation. And HOPE IN CHRIST NEVER FAILS.

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." - Romans 5:5

Image copyright Ian Ho 2010

Nostalgia

I can't believe it's already one year since trackers.. Was looking through pics of this year's trackers (2011) on fb just now, and as I saw pics of them playing games and all, I couldn't help but put a smile on my face, cos I was just so happy these youths joined and I know they'll never leave the same.

It also triggered back all the memories I had last year with my batch. Good times.. Makes me feel so nostalgic. Ahh really miss those moments. Yknow looking back I really thank God for giving me trackers; I dare say it is the most life-changing 3 months of my life, the most meaningful experience I had in my 19 years. I especially thank God for the friendships made, and I know these relationships will last because they're bounded by our love for Christ.

I WANNA TURN BACK TIME AND DO TRACKERS ALL OVER AGAIN.

Trust your tools

Image copyright Ian Ho 2010


Everything's alright cause I am on your side
And if you need to you can hide in me
Cause all you need to know
I will never let you go
I'm the lover of your soul

Brandon Heath is just such an AWESOME AWESOME songwriter!! I really loveeeee his music so much.. it's the kinda music which goes beyond superficial, beyond nice tunes and catchy drumbeats to really speaking the truth. I don't know, I guess his music resonates with me because many issues mentioned are pretty much what I'm dealing with. It's so uplifting, encouraging and inspiring. I could lie on bed enjoying air-con doing nothing but listening to his songs, especially the slower emo nemo ones :D So the two must-listen albums are What If We and Don't Get Comfortable. Pretty much love EVERY track in there.

All you need is a sunrise
Just a moment of dawn...

... Just a little more time the sun's gonna find you


Things have been better this week, training tempo slowing down for a while - finally some time to catch my breath. Still questioning, still seeking, but at least I'm in better spirits. Besides being called poster boy in camp (thank you SUTD), I'm smiling more and actually having great fun with my section. It's the same realisation that no matter how tough training is/going to be, as long as awesome people are alongside you in it, it will be fun and thoroughly enjoyable.

So yesterday was our navigation test for the CSB badge. Second time there; we did a similar navigation exercise there last week. Of the three day checkpoints we were assigned to find, the third one (Quay) was the same as what we got last week. Having found it once, we were pretty confident that we could replicate the success again.

Set off around noon, with no fancy technology other than a prismatic compass, pacer, laser pointer and a map which reflected nothing but a generous chunk of green with contour lines. With just these simple tools, we started bashing up knolls cluttered with thorny bushes, thick vegetation and dead-fall, overcoming the obstacles one by one till the pacing showed we reached our destination. Then we would begin our frantic search for the checkpoint - a small board nailed to a tree. Yes, it's finding a needle in the haystack.

By God's grace, my team found the first two checkpoints. All we were left with was the last checkpoint - Quay, which we found the week before. We walked there, brimming with confidence that we would find it again with relative ease. In fact, the six of us were so sure of Quay that when we went down the knoll, we didn't even use our compass or pacer to navigate. Trusting our instinct and vague impressions of trails we took, we relied on our memory and intuition to find Quay.

If the vegetation was distinct enough, it might have worked. But unfortunately, every tree there looked like any other tree, every dead-fall like any other dead-fall, and every trail like any other trail. After blindly bashing around for some time, we started to get frustrated. After all we did find it before, why not again!

To cut the story short, we failed to find Quay. Uh. Dejected faces we wore as we headed to the day end-point... the prospect of full marks and a pizza treat was over. Reflecting back, the grave mistake we committed was to abandon our tools and stupidly navigate based on hazy impressions of where it is.

Intuition failed us. Feelings weren't accurate. Memories weren't reliable.


Why I'm relating this is because amidst the disheartened faces and low morale, I saw a parallel between navigation and living the Christian life. This simple incident opened my eyes to a bigger realisation about how we are with God many times.

We are often like that aren't we? We like to navigate and lead our life based upon our feelings, our human emotion and warped ideas about what's good and bad or right and wrong. Not that these feelings should totally be disconsidered, but many times they fool us. Like how I should have trusted my tools at all times, we should live our life trusting in the infallible word of God.

Don't base your decisions or view of God based on what you feel. Rather, base it on the unchanging truth.

When He says His love for you is deeper than the deepest seas, it really is!
Even if you don't feel it.

When He says He is fighting for you and is always there with you, it really is!
Even if you feel lonely and feels no one sees your tears.

When He says you're free and the chains have been broken, it really is!
Even if you feel trapped by the circumstances you're in.

When He says He is good all the time, it really is!
Even when you feel everything's falling apart.

When He says you're beautifully created in His eyes, it really is!
Even if you feel you're not good enough.

Lead your life based on God's truth, that way, you won't get lost.

Questions

Image copyright Ian Ho 2010

Daddy, have you been waiting for me?
I've been running for far too long now, my body is aching and I really need a break.
Can I sit with you and have a cup of coffee?
I really miss you, it has been some time since we talked.

Daddy, why does it keep raining these past few weeks?
Where's the sunshine, puffy clouds and clear blue skies?
Why is it all shades of grey?
I'm afraid of the thunder and lightning - I can't seem to sleep during the storm.
See, even the flowers outside are withering. Will they be fine? It's hard to find time to water them.

Daddy, your love for me is beyond my wildest imagination and deeper than the deepest oceans and bigger than the biggest mountains, right?
You do know the longings of my heart, right?
Why is it that everything around me seems to be falling apart?
Why do you keep on taking away the things that I cherish most?
Why do you make life so painful, bitter, full of suffering and struggles?
Can't it be just a little easier?
Why is it that you give and yet take away?
Just what are you doing inside of me?
It feels like chaos; every step seems harder to climb, every moment seems darker.
Can't the storm clouds part for a while for the golden sunlight to shine through?

Daddy, how do I deal with these feelings of disappointment and failure?
I know I can't do it by myself, but surely you're strong enough to carry me right?
Why is it so hard to wear a smile on my face?
After all you said that it'll be alright eventually.
Then why is my heart still racing in fear?

Daddy, come and restore this broken heart, come lift my spirits up.
Help me to see beyond the pain and suffering to realise that it's part of growing up.
Help me to see that you're the closest when I'm hurting and crying, when all around me is darkness and I can't see where I'm heading.
Help me to see that you're the peace within when I toss and turn in bed wondering what tomorrow brings.

Daddy, it really isn't easy when I'm battling the storm.
But I know, when it's over, I'll look back and say thank you, for faith in the light is born in the dark.
In the meantime, I just got to hold on tight.

Won't you show me the answers?
Your son is waiting:)

Stay on track

Image copyright Ian Ho 2010 | Snapshot on the way home, simulated film grain in photoshop

"Do you see what this means — all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running — and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed — that exhilarating finish in and with God — he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Hebrews 12:1-3 (The Message)

I pass by this park connector every time I walk from the bus-stop home, but I don't know why this signage particularly caught my attention today. I glanced up, contemplated for a second if it was worth a picture, then whipped out the nifty fifty, waited a while for the cyclists to appear, snapped, and continued my walk home.

As I walked, I kept repeating the 3 words "stay on track" to myself, and then naturally I asked God why. It's as if He wanted to tell me to stay on track. Truth is, I don't quite know if it's Him or just myself. But as I pondered over a simple signage, Hebrews 12 about running the race came to mind - and I think the way the Message phrases it is just so apt and relevant to me and where I am now.

As I'm reminded to stay on track, let me remind you to stay on track too! Don't veer off the path, keep your eyes fixed and focused. We'll get there someday.

My God knows, and He cares

Image copyright Ian Ho 2008

Pardon me if my writing is incongruent or a little bit wonky because that's what I am now. It's approaching 10:30pm, my eyelids are shutting, fatigue is setting in and I'm here all alone at company office doing my CDT duty. My dear COS is washing up, and every 10 minutes or so someone pops in asking for today's SOC results. Sounding the mousehunt horn every 15 minutes is what's keeping me awake, and I dread spending the night in the freezing cold of the office on a safari bed.

As much as I've accepted the fact that ASLC is God's plan for me, truth is I've been really finding it hard to put a smile on my face these days. I think I'm a bit more grumpy, more pessismistic and just in low-spirits... outfield every week, failing SOC this morning, not being able to go to church for the next 2 Sundays - it all adds up and this heaviness in my heart just doesn't seem to go away.

But He has been speaking still, assuring me that He knows exactly what I'm feeling, that when I'm downcast and sad, He sympathises and cares.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and rescues those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 NLT

Despite all my emo-ness and what not, I want to tell you today that GOD CARES FOR YOU. (Yes you might be thinking I know this since sunday school as a kid, but do you really know it with your heart and not just your mind?) Because He made us, He knows exactly our emotions and state of mind. He grieves when you grieve, so when you feel that no one understands the situation you're in and how screwed up life is, remember big Daddy up there does!

I'm trying hard to put a smile on my face right now, but there's a mysterious power of a smile - somehow you feel a little happier, and all's gonna be alright.

Fill me with Your love

Image copyright Ian Ho 2010

The Swiss theologian Karl Barth was asked by a student during a seminar in the United States, "Dr Barth, what is the most profound thing you have ever learned in your study of theology?" Barth thought for a moment and then replied, "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so." The students giggled at his simplistic answer, but their laughter was of a nervous sort as they slowly realised Barth was serious.

From the book Essential Truths of the Christian Faith by RC Sproul

Dear Father, fill me with your love - your profound, satisfying, everlasting and unconditional love! Take my life as an empty cup and fill it till overflowing :)

When paths cross and diverge

Image copyright Ian Ho 2008

"Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family."
Proverbs 18:24 (Message)

Making good friends is hard, but you know what? The parting after that is even harder. Had to say bye to a good friend who left for studies a few weeks ago, and now after BSLC some of my army friends have parted ways too. And I was just thinking - sometimes our paths cross, sometimes God causes them to diverge. New friends come and old friends go, we embrace new relationships and cry at those who left... and that's the way life works.

But in every season of my life, God never fails to give me a few really good friends that I treasure. It's never the number of friends one has that matters, but who these friends are. I would prefer 5 really really close friends than say 20 "okay" friends. We all start out on our separate path in life, walking our own way, and then at some point we reach junctions where paths cross. And I was thinking of the people that God has placed in my life this season... cos I know it's more than mere coincidence when God causes these paths to cross. I look back and stand in awe at how God brings two paths heading in seemingly different directions and merges them together. Sometimes the people around me are so different from who I am - different backgrounds, personalities, and countries even - but somehow, somehow through the unique course of events in life God causes us to meet. And I constantly ask God why, why He brings these people into my life. There is a purpose, a reason for everything, and sometimes He puts people around us so that we may support them in their walk, or so that they may encourage us in ours. In any case, the very least we could do for these people is to keep them in prayer. The truth is we all can't survive alone, and God never did made us to do that anyway. Although we may not get to see our close friends everyday, prayer bridges that gap. Even when paths diverge and we don't know why, we can still pray for that person and keep him in our thoughts. Prayer is powerful - and that's the least we can do as a believer in a community of believers.

But even as friends come and go, I take comfort in knowing that God's family lasts forever. Our spiritual family, whoever they may be, will continue throughout eternity. And it is much stronger than worldly friendships and even family bonds, because an everlasting God is in the centre of it!

Dear Father, my prayer this season is that you give me more spiritual friends, friends that will stick alongside me like family, because I can't walk alone and I never want to. And to those you've placed around me, I ask that you give me the courage and strength to support them in whatever way I can, because that's what friends are for..

To Him the future's history

Image copyright Ian Ho 2010 | Walking by faith, not by sight

Today marked the end of BSLC, the end of 8 awesome weeks in Pasir Lepak camp, and I also got my posting today. While some were jumping joyously upon being posted to air force and MP (aka the slack life), I wasn't that pleased with getting ASLC. Nope, didn't get artillery that I wanted... and so in typical American idol fashion when we were grouped and it was announced that I'm coming back to echo coy, my heart sank.

I asked God WHY WHY WHY ASLC. Weekends burnt, tough training, Taiwan... it won't be easy at all. I don't know what to expect next. 13 freaking weeks to endure.

On the train ride home, I was listening to Miracle of the Moment... and then God spoke through the lyrics, that very same verse which assured me before I enlisted assured me once again:

There's only one who knows
What's really out there waiting
In all the moments yet to be

And all we need to know
Is He's out there waiting
To Him the future's history

I may not know the challenges that's coming my way, but heck ALL i need to know is that a) God has a plan for where I am, and b) to Him the future's history. I just have to wait and see as He reveals why over the weeks. I told myself, there's two ways I can choose to react: either worry, panic and curse or let God's peace fill me as I trust in Him. And I'll choose the latter, for worrying will not add an extra hour to your life, will it? (Matthew 6:27)

I'll choose to walk by faith and not by sight, cos my daddy has it all under control. He doesn't make mistakes!!

To whoever who's reading this, whenever you think life has taken a wrong turn, or things aren't going the way you want, remember that there's a reason for everything and nothing ever happens by chance. God has a perfect plan for you and you just got to trust that's true. Choose to see the positive, because what has happened has happened and worrying won't change a thing.

It's time for letting go
All of our if only's
Cause we don't have a time machine...

...and this is the only moment
we can do anything about.

The crystal ball

Image copyright Ian Ho 2010

Sadly, there's no crystal ball in life. Only He knows what's coming up next around the bend... cos to Him the future's history.

Trusting my posting after bslc all into the hands of my good God.

After all, worrying is a form of atheism.. I'm just praying that wherever I go I can be the salt and light to those around me, haha and I secretly hope to NOT get aslc!

Hungry (Falling On My Knees)

Just got "We Still Believe" by Kathryn Scott and the last track in the album happened to be an old song - Hungry. Listened to it once, and though the song has already been around for so many years it still felt so new and fresh. Haha so I decided to try it out on the piano... cos I think it's just such a beautiful song :)



Btw, missed out the second verse >.< haha was quite hastily done... but still I hope you will encounter God through the lyrics.

Made for relationships

Image copyright Ian Ho 2009

I've wanted to do a sort of reflection on BMT but never quite had the time till now. Block leave this week has been a blast thus far - Monday spent with section mates at Ubin, Tuesday with trackers, Wednesday with Photosoc and church... and finally today, with God alone at home.. Deliberately set aside time to catch up with big daddy and sit at His feet once again, and it feels awesome to do nothing but take it slow and recharge spiritually.

Of all the things that army has taken away from me, I have learnt one important lesson: that life is simply much easier lived with people walking by your side.

I know it sounds kinda stupid, but really I just can't imagine going through the past 2 months alone. It would simply be torturous. The 2 months was difficult, but I thank God for the people who supported me throughout BMT, the encouragement, prayers and SMSes made army life much easier knowing that I'm not alone. It's weird that being away from home 5 days a week actually drew me closer to my parents. I guess it's when you're away that you start to value the things that you miss: friends, family, freedom and even God.

We were all made for relationships, and I realised through army that walking along with someone else, and knowing that there's people upholding you should you fall, is just a much safer and wiser way to live. I see this truth illustrated during route marches. Route march is BORING, where we walk and walk for eternity with heavy field packs on our backs, but because we're doing it together as a platoon, its more bearable. If one person lags behind, there will be someone else to spur and push him on. We look out for each other, and ensure we finish the march together. And it's the same for the Christian life. I realised a community of Christian friends is so important, because we all need encouragement when we're down or going through a rough patch.

Ecclesiastes 4:10-12 best summaries this:
10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

God made us for each other; He made us so that we could show Christian love to those around us... and now that I've completed BMT, I just thank God for all the people He has placed around me to support me and keep me going. Even those simple 'how r u?' SMSes mean a lot to me in camp. Just couldn't do it alone.

God is Able

I trust in You with all I am
Cos I know You have the master plan
So I'll throw my life into Your hands
For Your glory
For Your glory

What a beautiful bridge!

There is a God

Images copyright Ian Ho 2009

Dug through my photo archives and came across these photos that I shot last year for school.. and as I asked myself what these photos meant to me, this song by 33miles came to mind:

There is a God; this is the proof
That all around the evidence is speaking the truth
From the center of my soul to the edge of the universe
Creation is crying out believe it or not
There is a God

You know, one of the many reasons why nature photography appeals to me so much is simply because I see God through creation. These nature photos mean more than just superficial beauty, or technical skill or composition... these images show me who God is, and how glorious and magnificent His creation is. The process of creating these shots is more than a technical exercise - it is my worship to God, a way of humbling myself and acknowledging the greatness of the Creator. No, nature photography to me is never about creation, but it's about the Creator manifesting his glory through creation.

"But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is!"
Romans 1:19 (MSG)

To me, observing creation is one of the simplest ways to know that God exists. When I look at the intricacies and variety in nature, of the flowers and leaves and insects and bugs, I know that someone MUST have created it. And that person must be God. The Bible says that the whole earth is full of the glory of God, and indeed creation bears witness to the Creator. Sometimes we try too hard to find God, when his sublime presence is all around us. All it takes is for us to open our eyes and there it is! The reality of God and His glory is plain enough for all of us to see. So to those who deny that God exists, I think that's just plain foolishness.

I believe it; I believe it
There is a God
I can feel it; I can feel it
There is a God
And the more I find the less I need to see
I've never been so sure, so sure of anything

Each day

Image copyright Ian Ho 2009

Taking each day at a time, that's how I'm living the army life now. Things are getting somewhat mundane; I'm going through the motion everyday just to get over with each day. Like this sunrise image, it's so similar to every other sunrise image taken by everyone. There's nothing different, nothing stunning or spectacular about it. Army life is becoming more and more like that. Badly need a fresh perspective from God.

Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North

This really spoke to me, I and hope it will to you as well :)

About God-sized dreams

Image copyright Ian Ho 2010

We all have dreams. We all have hopes, aspirations, goals to achieve in life, be it short-term or long-term. But how many of us actually have a God-sized dream?

I'm not referring to any kind of dream, but a dream which is planted by God in our lives which motivates us to impact our friends, our community and the world for Christ. The kinda dream which gives our existence meaning, purpose and fulfillment. This year thus far has been about discovering my identity in Christ, what God's plan is for my life and basically what my God-sized dream is.

I've learn a couple of things in the process.

1) A God-sized dream is a BIG BIG dream! It may take your entire lifetime to accomplish! I've ever wondered at times if it was my dream or a dream from God. I think the difference is that if it's from God, it will be so big in your life that you can't do it alone. You need God, other believers, and most importantly, faith.

2) Knowing your God-sized dream takes time, and lots of prayer. It wasn't easy for me, but I trusted that God had a great plan for my life which He would reveal in His timing. The thing about such dreams is that God will most likely not reveal everything to you at one go, simply because it would be too overwhelming to handle or comprehend! God showed me a bit, then a bit and a bit more of His dream one at a time, a bit like unwrapping parts of a present. I also learn that a God-sized dream will involve one's spiritual gifts.

3) God will not fulfill this dream immediately.

“These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" Habakkuk 2:3, LB

This was the hardest part of me to swallow - the waiting. After God revealed a bit of my dream, it seemed as if nothing happened and everything became quiet. But I've come to realise this delay is His way of building our faith even deeper. Noah had to wait a freaking 120 years from the time he started building the ark till the flood began, and Moses had to wait in the desert for 40 years, so likewise we have to wait too until God says the time is right.

4) Don't let your God-sized dream always remain a dream. As with anything in the Christian life, action (done in love) is what matters. For me this will mean letting go of my fears and insecurities, investing more time into ministry, spending more time with God and so forth. Realising this dream will involve many difficulties for sure, but then again that's where faith comes in to overcome them.

I believe that God has in mind a specific God-sized dream for each one of you. You could choose to obey it, or choose to ignore it and sail through life without making a difference for Christ. It's easy to go through the motion of life and live everyday just like yesterday, but it's much more fulfilling to chase and realise a God-sized dream!

Walking on water - thoughts from Matthew 14

Image copyright Ian Ho 2010

Was at Lower Seletar Reservoir last night shooting with Kelvin. Climbed over a fence illegally, cautiously threaded my way through the floating plank in trepidation and then firmly planted my tripod down and froze there during the 4 plus minute exposure.

Before I pressed the shutter I already knew what this photo was going to be about. I wanted it to be about faith, and the story that immediately came to mind was Matthew 14 about Jesus walking on water. Haha and so coincidentally there was also a boat in the scene (top left)!

Matthew 14 is an interesting passage which reflects on the way our faith is with God many times. Here's the passage from The Message translation:

As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night.
Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o'clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. "A ghost!" they said, crying out in terror.
But Jesus was quick to comfort them. "Courage, it's me. Don't be afraid."
Peter, suddenly bold, said, "Master, if it's really you, call me to come to you on the water."
He said, "Come ahead."
Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, "Master, save me!"
Jesus didn't hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, "Faint-heart, what got into you?"
The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down. The disciples in the boat, having watched the whole thing, worshiped Jesus, saying, "This is it! You are God's Son for sure!"

When I study Peter's conversation with Jesus as he stepped out of the boat to walk on the water, I realise how it resembles my walk with Jesus at times. The first sentence that struck me was "Jesus came toward them walking on the water". Many times Jesus is the one that comes to us in our time of need, He has taken that 99 steps to reach us and we only need to take that 1 step, not the other way around. He's closer than we imagine.

Then Peter thought he saw a ghost and he said Jesus if it's really you, then call me to come to you. Sometimes we're like that too. When Jesus is near to us, we still doubt if it's really Him or not and we ask for confirmation. Next Peter jumps out of the boat, looks at the waves churning beneath his feat and started to get frightened. Aren't we like that? Sometimes when I step out of my boat to follow Jesus, self-doubt and fear fills me and I look at my circumstance and I say I can't do it, Jesus help me!

But the next part is the most amazing. Verse 31 says, and Jesus DIDN'T HESITATE! He reached down, grabbed Peter's hand and said "faint-heart, what got into you?" I'm like that many times, weak in my faith, but the baffling thing is that He never hesitates to be there to help me up. And in the end like how the disciples saw the whole incident and then worshipped Jesus, we too come to a deeper relationship with God whenever we walk on the water. And I've learnt it only takes one thing to walk on water (i.e. do the humanly impossible) - faith.

Countdown: < 1 day

12 hours more.

Before reporting to Tekong school 1!

I'm actually kinda excited about it, and I'll try to keep an open mind and be optimistic about it. But before I start on this new journey, I think it's good to wrap up the last 4 months of civilian life by saying that Trackers was really an experience that I will cherish for a long time to come.

I really thank God for enlisting so late, because otherwise I wouldn't have got to meet my wonderful Cebu team!! I will cherish those crazy times we spent together in Cebu, and really I miss all of you after Trackers ended! I really thank God for placing the Trackers people in my life, for bringing me on missions, and for the opportunity to grow deeper in my faith the past 4 months. The lessons learnt and experiences gained will serve as an encouragement for me whenever I'm going through tough times in NS. I've walked long enough with God to know for sure that my life is in His hands, and that He's always beside me and for me, no matter the circumstances.

So I want to start this new journey by looking back at Trackers and saying THANK YOU Lord for the friendships forged, the memories shared and the faith-lessons learnt!

Indeed I wouldn't exchange Trackers for anything else, it really was the best way to spend my pre-enlistee life!